Kate – lbs lost = 101
Starting Weight – 251lbs-Size 20/22
Current Weight – 150lbs Size 6/8
Blog/Website – http://thekatechroniclesblog.blogspot.com/
I’ll never forget the day I started my first diet. I was nine years old, and weighing in at a plump 126 pounds. As I stepped on the scale at my pediatrician’s office and watched the scale reveal those horrifying numbers, I quietly dabbed my tears on the sleeve of my Tweety Bird sweatshirt. If someone would have told me then that I would struggle with my weight for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have believed them.
Nonetheless, my weight struggles and body image issues followed me around my entire life. After several months of dieting and strict limitations by my parents, I lost a measly 11 pounds and reached 115 pounds; a size nearly 40 pounds heavier than all of my friends.
It was then that I realized that I would forever be different. Now, let’s not forget that I’m 5’9” (this, of course, was always my favorite excuse for why I weighed so much), so I’ll always weigh more than those cute little petite girls that I’ve always wanted to look like.
As I entered middle school, I was still a bigger girl, but not nearly as big as the “fat” girls in my school. These poor girls were much bigger than I, and had serious self-esteem issues. I wonder if they knew that someone half their size was going through the same torment as they were? Probably not.
Even in my early years of high school, I was bigger, but still a cute girl. I wore about a size 13 and “large” shirt size, so I could still squeeze my way into the trendy junior fashions.
It wasn’t until the summer between my junior and senior year of high school that things took a turn for the worse. During that summer, I gained about 30 pounds, putting me at 210 pounds. Think that’s bad? Just wait, it gets worse. As my senior year continued, I packed on an unsettling amount of weight.
At my high school graduation ceremony, I crossed the stage at 251 pounds, and honestly believed that I looked good. It wasn’t until a month and a half later that I woke up and faced reality. Here I am at my graduation party wearing a size 20 dress that I later broke the buttons on when I took it off.
One afternoon, I was walking to my bedroom at my parent’s house, and caught a glimpse of my body in the bathroom mirror. It was then that I finally saw myself, or whoever that giant girl was. I was shocked. I locked myself in my bedroom, and cried myself to sleep at 5:30 p.m.
The next day, I decided it was time to transform myself. I started an intense diet and exercise program that would yield me unbelievable results. In only 45 short days, I dropped 40 pounds, and started my first day of college at 211 pounds.
Throughout college, I gained and lost steadily; my weight ranged anywhere from 211 pounds to 175 pounds. Upon graduating from college, I was 195 pounds and ranging between a size 14 and 16.
Now, nearly three years later, I am 100 pounds lighter and wearing a size 6, but still not satisfied with my body image. I know what you’re thinking, what more do I want, right? Yeah, I often think the same thing. I wish it was that easy to see the progress I’ve made, but I suffer from a psychological condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).
This condition is very prominent among those with eating disorders, as well as young people whose bodies undergo a total transformation. With this condition, you only see the way youreally look, sometimes. Other times, I look in the mirror and see that sweaty, 18 year old, 251 pound girl.However, with regular reassurance exercises, I’ve managed to live a healthy, normal life with this condition. Although BDD sometimes gets the best of me, I usually feel back to normal the next day. In a way, I hate BDD, but in another way, I love it; it’s almost like a really annoying trophy of the success I’ve made.